The Cure for Stuck

Why do we get stuck?

People love talking about how they’re stuck. It’s always a topic in coaching circles, entrepreneur groups, artist conversations… stuck, stuck, stuck! 

I love when people show up to me feeling stuck. Because I know the answer. 

Desire. 

Stuck? Show me your desires. Tell me which you’re honoring, which you’re acting upon, which you’re ignoring, and which you’re crushing down into dust. 

Tell me which desires you’ve deemed yourself not worthy of, not deserving of, something that’s in your heart but you’ve decided simply isn’t meant for you.

Tell me where you came from. Tell me where you want to go. Tell me your desires and I’ll tell you why you’re stuck in the translation of becoming.

When I ask women what they really want the solution is clear. They just have come up with a hundred road blocks, in their mind, of why they can’t have it. When we dig in beneath the surface of “I don’t knows” and let the fear slide away, the shame dissipate, when they’re able to boldly state their desires - they’re instantly set back into motion.

When the desire is honored, the soul is set into motion, the steps start to reveal themselves and that internal drive gets reignited.

Confessions of a Coach

When I started this business, I didn’t know much about coaching, and I had no intention of becoming a coach.

When it was suggested to me again and again that that was the best way to serve in the way I wanted, I gave in, after trying different titles.

(FYI if you call yourself a mentor people expect your support is free!)

And I found that this title, this industry, this coaching culture comes with it a lot more than just a job description.

What I’ve found after being in this industry for the last 4 years is:

-There’s a lot of bad blood among clients & coaches (whether the client didn’t commit fully, or the coach didn’t deliver fully). There’s a lot of pain & resentment in this world.

-Even coaches who I thought gave me subpar support, or didn’t end up providing a transformational experience, often were still doing their best. It just wasn’t what I really needed.

-I know so many amazing coaches feeling consumed by the pressure to be 6 figure, multi-6, and 7 figure business owners, that they think making a lot of money to tell their audience about is the key to growing a raving fan base. (It’s not.) I’m a wealth coach and I rarely share about my numbers because I’d never want that to be the reason someone hired me. Your bank account tells such a small story about who you are & your gifts.

-And this culture of sharing income is so sticky… inspiring, depressing, transparent, fake. There’s a whole range of reactions and “truths” of posting about money on the internet. And overall, while it’s great to celebrate what is possible, I’ve come to find it’s actually pretty frickin weird to constantly see what your competitors/peers are making. Like, what other industry tells their audience every time they make a big sale?? I feel like it’s sometimes helpful, sometimes totally irrelevant to the support & wisdom being given.

There’s so much in this industry to rage about- but I also have found my truth, my space in here. And I no longer worry what people think about my title. I know the high quality of service and commitment to my clients I provide and the beautiful community I’m curating. My coaching world is one of truth, boundaries, intuition, logic, and deep connection with amazing women around the globe.

So no, I’m not a millionaire coach (yet) and when I hit that level, I’m sure I’ll share about it. But before then, I have plenty of other things to share, and many ways to help people. What I know for now is:

-Your boundaries (energy/time/relationships) you get dictate and there’s no wrong way unless you are suffering because of them. Mine have changed over time, and will change again as I am on my personal and professional development path. Updates & maintenance required!

-Joy is worth pursuing, constantly. If I have joy in what I’m doing and feel connected to that feeling daily, I will continue. Entrepreneurship isn’t easy, but I love building something that’s impactful and I find massive joy in the process of connecting with and coaching women.

-It can be lonely as hell when you’re singularly responsible for bringing your dream to life. Finding others who truly see you, support you, hear you and stand by you is life-giving. Without my biz soul sisters I would be lost.

-I often wish I could stop time and just marinate a bit more, dream a bit more, focus solely on one thing at a time, and help others do the same. While I can’t stop the Earth from spinning I allow myself to slow down, to take time for me, to release the pressure to move at high speeds all the time… and I’ve created spaces for women to also slow down, focus on them, work their mindset, ask questions, be supported and listened to- which allows other things to speed up, come to clarity quicker, become embodied faster, and lead them further along their path.

There’s beautiful things to come.

Peace, love & wealth,

Sonya

There Will Always Be Pain & Sunshine

When I was 16 years old I took a trip to Europe with my high school. We traveled to the Czech Republic, Poland, and Germany, learning about the history of these places.

While in Germany we went to Auschwitz, the former Nazi concentration camp. As we walked onto that haunted land, I was silent, stunned, overcome with grief for the people who had passed through there decades ago. For the people, my people, the Jews, and the others that were forced to come there. And I noticed-

It was a beautiful day. Warm breeze, blue sky, puffy clouds. Birds chirped. It was Summer. A beautiful Summer day.

And I imagined there were days just like this, when the barracks were filled with skeletal humans, when the fires burned flesh, when the children learned what pain was. There were still days, beautiful days, of pain and sunshine.

In some ways it seems cruel- how can there be such beauty and pain at once? When I’ve had times of deep sadness or illness, it seems contrary when the weather does not cry with me. When the storms inside of us are not reflected outside.

But that’s the way of the world. There is always pain and sunshine. Somewhere.

So when you are soaking in a beautiful day, the breeze flowing just right and you find yourself at peace… maybe take a moment to acknowledge that others are still in pain. Maybe don’t ignore the stories and heartbreak. Maybe do just a little something to help those who are so deep in their pain, they don’t even know what the weather is doing.

And if you are that person, deep in your pain, inextricably connected to the things that are torturing your people… remember to look up. To breathe in the expansive sky. To know that allowing yourself moments outside of the despair is not a treason to the pain. You are still allowed beauty. You are still allowed rest. You are still allowed pleasure. The sun still shines for you too.

There is always pain and sunshine.

How to Handle LACK

I'm sitting on my couch, sun coming in through the windows, in total comfort... and also aware of this underlying feeling of - lack.

Or rather FEAR of lack. 


I look around and can see abundance. Yet the feeling persists. 


Everyone is diving into the holiday spirit- which actually seems to means a huge focus on buying gifts, mostly. I feel the tension from my past self coming in... how will I participate in the holidays and gift in a way that feels, not just good, but good ENOUGH??


A huge piece of my money story includes NOT being able to be as generous materially as I would have liked with my friends and family. 


I know I'm generous emotionally with my loved ones. I listen, I show up for them, I support them... but I also always had this love language of giving great gifts that seemed to be impossible to act on the way I wanted! 


Each year during birthdays, holidays, even just random times I felt the urge to "gift", I'd feel total LACK. It felt terrible, it still feels terrible thinking of all the times I just COULDN'T live, love & share in the way I wanted. 


I knew inner Sonya, higher self Sonya, was a generous gifter- not to "show off"  or to avoid emotions or to do anything besides give someone something I knew would bring JOY. 


It's true money DOES NOT BUY HAPPINESS. But let's be real!
It totally CAN increase our comfort, our safety, our health, our freedom, our ability to live- and yes love- the way we truly desire. 


So if LOVE isn't a good enough reason to aim for MORE THAN ENOUGH, I don't know what is. 
 

I will aim for wealth because of love- because I LOVE myself and I want to be safe, comfortable, healthy and fully living the way I feel called to. Which includes being generous with people I love. During the holidays- and anytime the desire strikes!


I will aim for wealth because I LOVE my family, and the little souls that I know are in my future family. They also deserve safety, comfort and health in the highest degree I can provide.


I will aim for wealth because I LOVE my clients and my work. The more money I make means the more women I've impacted, the more I've helped. The more they are living in alignment with their highest selves.

And now I will surrender again- to allowing wealth in, to allowing myself to receive, to allowing myself to THINK and ACT differently so I can continue along my path of true alignment. I know that true alignment includes wealth, includes joy, includes living, working & loving EXACTLY as my heart desires.


I will add gifts to online carts and practice gratitude, tapping into abundance that is circulating around all of us. I will use my tools to energetically, emotionally and materially create an experience that FEELS GOOD to my highest self.


I invite you to do the same. I invite you to allow in the joy, the love, the wealth that is 100% available to you right now. Breathe it in! Allow the flow, allow the surrender.

*Get support for stepping into your next level of wealth & abundance mindset by checking out how we can work together.